It was Friday afternoon. My Queen had had a session earlier in the afternoon, and still wore her outfit, a simple black body suit and tall slim black boots. I wore my secretary outfit. My small collar was still locked on; the blouse ties covered it. I came into the living room, my Queen nodded approval, and I started preparing for dinner. I had soon cooked an excellent spaghetti bolognese and we enjoyed it with a little wine. On finishing I cleaned up, washed and dried the dishes and started to relax, I assumed for the rest of the evening, but I was wrong.

“Where are your scarves?” I was surprised, but quietly pointed out the bag: “Over there my Queen.” She then pointed to a spot on the floor, and said “Lie, face down.” I obeyed. In a second she was beside me, though I couldn’t see her. “Hands behind.” My wrists were quickly bound, then she repeated the process with my ankles. Then I felt her tying something else, and suddenly my wrists were firmly pulled back to my ankles and in a second I was hog-tied. I felt he strain on the front of my thighs and I couldn’t move; I didn’t even dare try, as she busied herself. Next something was passed over my eyes: “Open your mouth.” I obeyed. In a second it was stuffed full and she was tying the scarf tight at the back of my head. She sighed and laughed a little. She wasn’t finished. She was still preparing. In a minute something else was passed over my head. I felt it encircle my neck and pulled tight, but not tight enough to hurt. She continued, and next moment my breath was suddenly restricted to the point where I was struggling to breathe. She laughed and sighed, and released. Then she repeated, several times. Each time she pulled on the rope, I felt my face go red, and I could hardly breathed at all, as I gasped into my gag. After she had had her fun, she released the rope, untied the gag, and freed my wrists and ankles.

She sat on the sofa, booted legs crossed, ordered me to come to her, and to start licking. I obeyed, up and down the legs and on the soles as she indicated. After a minute she said “Stand up. Stand there.” She had ordered me to a position a metre and a half from her. “Turn around.” “Yes my Queen.” “Now you will be punished. Do you know why?” My mind was blank, totally vacant after the hog-tie, gag and strangling, brief though it was. “No my Queen, I don’t know why.” “You don’t know?” “No I don’t know at all.” “You let your cock cage fall off. I told you that that would be disrespectful. Yet you let it happen. Ten lashes for that.” “Yes my Queen.” Next, you have failed to give me the budget and all the money that I told you to give me, many days ago.” I thought for a moment. She’s right. How could I have not done that? I cursed myself, and said “Yes my Queen.” “Ten for that.” “Ok my Queen.”

She began. The first ten lashes were heavy, striking me high on the back and shoulders. It was very painful, as usual. After ten she stopped. “Turn around.” I turned to face her. “Turn.” I turned a little to my right. “More.” I obeyed. “More.” Ok. “Stop.” Now it seemed that I was in the perfect position. She started again, and it hurt even more. Moans and gasps escaped me, and tears rose in my eyes. After ten she stopped.

For the next fifteen minutes she questioned me about why I hadfailed to deliver the budget and money, and I did my best to answer. But I had no real explanation. I was in a sorry state, my mouth full of the sour taste of failure. I hate being whipped, but more than that I hate failing and disappointing my Queen.

Later though as I thought about it, I wondered if I had been unconsciously trying to sabotage my Queen’s effort to make me dependent on her, and in fact my own desire for that. Loss of freedom is easy to think about, much less easy to give oneself up to. Perhaps this was the root cause of my failure. Whatever the reason, I will continue doing my best to keep listening, remembering and acting on her orders.

Play and Punish